To new Beginnings

A collection of an aquas manifestos, live journals, poems etc

1. Why this, why now

I turn 33 this month. In the long scheme of life, 33 doesn’t feel like it would be a year of significance, too young for a mid-life crisis, way past my naive drunken 20s, but then my mom told me ill be the same age that Jesus Christ died for our sins. Which is funny she said that, cause I just watched Midnight gospel, I had watched it before years back but it didn’t stick or maybe I wasn’t ready for it, any who there is an episode where Ram Dass is being quoted saying to “Mediate like Christ when hes being nailed on the cross, but felt love, not pain” I thought that was beautiful, even when being betrayed, physically tortured, your still with the presence of love. Now I know some reading this is like what the f-, I’m not catholic, at least not much in practice since I was forced to as a kid, but the last few years were probably the worst suffering I ever had, Ive been divorced too, and honestly that was a cakewalk for me (kina) So here I am making sense of my suffering, trying to meditate-pray talk with my dead peeps, trying to be more creative, but most of all trying to be more in love with myself and the world. Secondly a random tiktok on my fyp page, showed up talking about Aileen Wuornos, She was 33 when she started to kill men. I thought well shoot, she gets it, maybe something clicked with her too at this golden age. Let me just say I don’t want to kill, but I know whats it like to feel so angry inside and want to snuff it out, to feel so hopeless inside and in this world and be like “f— it all”, to hope you don’t wake up, or that your the innocent by stander in some ones hatred fit. You can say I found some sort of higher power/god/rituals to help me from going insane. I’m still figuring that out, in my “Eat, Love, Pray” era if you will. Instead of killing I want to finally commit and bring to life an hobby/art and share my stories, thoughts.. even feelings.

2. What kind of community are you looking to build here

Spiritual, deep thinkers, people who love sad songs, shoegaze, experimental/diy, on a healing journey, or want to be on one later, psychedelics, sobriety, idk that’s all I got right now.

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